Down days

Things are lighter now, last week is really hard for me and for nonoy, we both have our burden at home, last Monday night April 26 after nonoy and i left our house to go to work, my dad had a fight with one of our neighbor for saying that i am now in a relationship with a guy, i can just imagine how my dad felt during that day, i know its hard for some father to accept that the only son that he has is gay and im not even out so somehow it really hurt his feeling, my mom told me what happen , after that incident my dad went home furious with my mom, im sure he said some hurt full words at her because when my mom is telling me the story she was crying... i know how my dad act when he is angry and sometimes the word that he say can shatter even the strongest heart...dad is blaming my mom because she let me do what ever i want... My dad was really angry because he thought that me and nonoy are hugging each when he saw us on my room that time which we are not, nonoy and i are aware of our action because we know that at any moment my dad can take a peek on my room and might see something that can lead him to think that there is something going on, i know how my dad think and its not good...so he told my mom about that incident and my mom ask me if that is true, at that time i could have said yes but i hold back because if ever i admit it im afraid that my mom might not let nonoy come to the house and at that time i though that its not he right time to say it...

After that incident i cant help but to cry and my mom ask me why im crying, if she only new that the reason is because im afraid that nonoy might not be able to sleep here again and if she only knew that my relationship with him is more than just friends, as much as i want to admit it to my mom something is holding me back.
I slept early the tuesday morning crying and hoping that when i woke up everything will be ok, but that never happen, i only have a few hrs of sleep and on that day i decided to leave early, i went to hypermaket near to our office i try to forget what happen but it keeps on bothering me, with only 3hrs of sleep i decided to just head to the office and sleep on the quarter, i texted my Team Lead that i will be on half day and i also text nonoy that ill be in the quarters, i cried and i really felt like i am alone that day i decided not to let nonoy know about my situation in the house since he him self have his own problem too, but i know my self, im not good in hiding my emotion especially when im angry or upset.. medyo nag tampo ako kay nonoy but as i promise to him that if in case that i am upset i would tell him why...so i did... and beside nonoy is my partner he deserve to know what is happening to me of all people dapat siya ang makaka alam dahil siya ang higit sa lahat ang makaka intindi sa akin...he is my strength and my happiness... that day nonoy is really worried buti nalang nasa tabi ko siya, if he only knew how much i appreciate what he did...cguro kung pwede lang ni hug na niya ako ng mahigpit to let him know that i really love him...
so after two days of feeling down i decided that i think its about time to change my mood since i dont want to dwell with the dramas of life i know things happen for a reason...i may not know it now but someday i will...

with all this im lucky to have nonoy at my side supporting and making me strong i know we both have our own cross to carry pero im sure everything will be ok...
nonoy thank you for being there for me sa saya man o sa lungkot lagi ka nariyan to make me happy to support me and to love me... i love you soo much...i really really do...