Back to almost normal

6:41am Manila, everything is back to normal now, though im not taking calls because i dont have schedule for today and the reason behind that is because last wednesday i decided to resign...but it was not approve and i thank God for that...as you have read on some of my post, last week is really something, a lot of drama is going on...

but now things are back to normal, kahit na may changes ng konti parang hindi mo na rin pansin...

Basta masaya na kami ngayon, kontento na kami, hindi na rin kami mag hihiwalay, we promise to our selves na lagi nalang kaming magiging masaya at kahit pa anung dumating na problema kakayanin namin...

Kiss from the Heart

In my new found relationship i have to adjust a lot especially on the intimate side of love, yes i admit that i enjoy hugging, kissing and making love because i can show the person how i really care on those kind of acts, i do that in a manner where in im fully awake and i know what im doing...

Ok so my boyfriend used to date girls so when he unexpectedly develop a feeling from me i believe that he never expect that this stuff is also included, yes marami na kaming trials na pinag dadaanan and so far nalalampasan naman namin, i love him and i dont have any doubt about it, i am willing to adjust to what ever it takes for him to be comfortable, pero there are times na nalulungkot ako kasi on my part im having this issue of him not wanting to kiss me, i know its an awkward feeling because first sanay xa na mag kiss sa mga girls not with a guy, i understand that and im willing to wait for him to be comfortable kissing me, pero there are times or moments na magiging perfect na sana if you kiss on that moment and it would be one of those memorable moments ninyong dalawa.


We went out yesterday and it was so fun being with him, yes he is like a little kid sometime but that is what i love about him, i help him to find some cute formal clothes that he can wear sa ofc and then after that we watch movie...i hug him all through out the till the movie ended, i kiss him on the cheeks and it was perfect, i dont really expecthim to kiss me back pero that time naging masaya na ako. so after the movie when all the people are going out na of the mall there is the two cute couple that while walking they kiss each other and you can see that they are really in love...and i was like OMG will i ever get that kind of kiss from him? a kiss from the heart? and i answer my own question...i guess i will never have that with him because every time that i ask him to kiss me, he would give me condition that i need to do first before he kiss me, it would have been easier on his part if i were a girl siguro hindi ko na hihingiin yon sa kanya kung naging babae ako....so i ask him if we can walk on the other side para hindi na ako maapektuhan, on our way home some how it really affects me pero xempre ayaw ko na xa pag alalahanin so nung nasa fx na kasmi i know that he feels the tension ang ginwa ko nalng is nung nag lean xa forward i hug him at his back to let him know that im ok...after that i texted him good night and tell him that i had a great time...which is true...^___^

i try not to let it get me because i my self can wait, pero in a way nasasaktan ako... but as i have mention its ok...i know that its hard for him and i understand.

i have no regret sa ginawa kong desicion na maki pag balikan sa kanya after all the drama na ng yari...i just hope that things will be worth it...

if one day you'll read this, i hope you dont get me wrong, i love you i really do...and im trying my best to understand you because i love you...im still hoping that one day you will give me that kiss from the heart without me asking for it...
i love you...

Poems from the Heart♥♥

A person like you do deserved to be loved


I can offer you my love without even expecting anything in return
A person like you don't deserve to be hurt
So I promise you that i will care and love you
A person like you is the best
That's why I offer you the bEst love which i could give
A person like you is what i need
PERSON WHO MAKES ME COMPLETE AND SATISFIED ALL THE WAY
 
^____________________________________^
 
 
I'm always thinking of you everyday
Always loning for you hugs and kisses
Always finding ways to reach you out
And always looking for your endless love
It's really difficult for me to act this way
To act around those unpredictable people
Who might think something against me
And who might do something to hurt me

Though it's my " firs time"
I never regret that i made a decision
To choose you among all my considerations
And to value you among all of them
FoR now, i just wanna enjoy what we have
Every single moments will be treasured
EVery words will be kept
JuSt to show you that i've accepted you
No matter what and who you are!!!!


^________________________^



EXPRESSION OF HAPPINESS!!!

Happiness is not only shown by laughters
Not even just by smiles
IT is not only felt by good things
But by a person who really makes you satisfied.....
Happiness can't be expressed by word of mouth
NoR even by just saying it loud
No words can say how much happy i was
BEinG with someone that really means
" HAPPINESS" to me......

I tried to fight it and even to hide it
But my heart keeps on saying...
"Dont even ignore what you feel!!!
ThE only way to unclog the chain
is by saying and showing...
" I LOVE YOU SO MUCH TO THE POWER OF TEN!!!!!! "

I don't regret that i made a decision
That might results to an unpredictable expectations
BuT i don't ever mind those things
Cause i know in my heart
That a forbidden and complicated love could be possible ...
I f really the two hearts understand each other..

For now,I do have an immeasurable joy
Joy that i don't want to end anymore
JoY that gives satisfaction to my whole being
Joy that makes sense to my life
A life that is totally pale
But now became meaningful
Cause i finally found the one
Who will trully care and love me the way i do.....

to my one and only master!!!!!

hehehehehee


^_______________________________^

EXPRESSION OF HAPPINESS!!!

Happiness is not only shown by laughters
Not even just by smiles
IT is not only felt by good things
But by a person who really makes you satisfied.....
Happiness can't be expressed by word of mouth
NoR even by just saying it loud
No words can say how much happy i was
BEinG with someone that really means
" HAPPINESS" to me......

I tried to fight it and even to hide it
But my heart keeps on saying...
"Dont even ignore what you feel!!!
ThE only way to unclog the chain
is by saying and showing...

" I LOVE YOU SO MUCH TO THE POWER OF TEN!!!!!! "

I don't regret that i made a decision
That might results to an unpredictable expectations
BuT i don't ever mind those things
Cause i know in my heart
That a forbidden and complicated love could be possible ...
I f really the two hearts understand each other..

For now,I do have an immesureable joy
Joy that i don't want to end anymore
JoY that gives satisfaction to my whole being
Joy that makes sense to my life
A life that is totally pale
But now became meaningful
Cause i finally found the one
Who will trully care and love me the way i do.....

to my one and only master!!!!!

hehehehehee

Happy Valentines Day

i Have found a new love this year and it comes to me with a big surprise i dint expect it to happen but it happen...its not easy for both of us but because of that single word LOVE we surpass the first trial of our relationship...

I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you.

To all the lovers out there enjoy and celebrate this special day with your special someone

To all the single Boys and Girls dont pressure your self to find love because for some reason Love will find you ^__^

My so called Happiness

here i go again, writing my thoughts, my never ending thoughts, well this is one way of releasing it right?
good thing about this blog is no one really reads it, no one really care, but any how still i consider this as one of my stress reliever...

I am now in a situation where in i dont know if i should be happy or not, i never expected that the happiness that im feeling right now can make someone cry, while im smiling... she's crying, while my heart is over flowing with joy... her's is over flowing with tears and it makes me feel so guilty...she is my friend...actually one of my best friend but right now i dont know if im worthy being called as a friend.

I know this is no one else s fault..all we did is to love the same guy and im sure no one expect this to happen...even i dont see it coming...but i know one thing is for sure...that things will some how change between us, well maybe in few days or weeks or months...it depends on how the situation will go.

I never intend to hurt anyone especially the guy that i love, i know this will bring change to your life and it will never be easy but if you let me go through with it im sure we can survive it... you dont need to change who you are just beacuse of me and not because you love a guy like me means that we are the same...

Remember that love has no gender, it ha no boundaries it can choose anyone 

Unexpected LOVE

my eyes hurt so much and my head is aching, too much crying is not good for the face and it gives you terrible headache...
i thought i can finally say that this is it! pero hindi pala, it was just a taste of what love can do to you and how it can make your world colorful, akala ko i can live there even for a short span of time pero mukhang hindi na mangyayari yon...
this past few weeks naramdaman ko yung isang bagay na sobrang tagal ko ng hindi nararamdaman sa talang buhay ko...yun ay mahalin ka ng sobra ng isang tao, na gagawin lahat para mapasaya ka at handa nyang harapin kung anu man ang sasabihin sa kanya ng mga tao, minahal nya ako kung ano ako at hindi ni ya ako kinahihiya...
Ang sarap ng feeling, i though hindi na ako marunong mag mahal, i though na wala ako mahahanap ng ganong klaseng pag mamahal, because the kind of relationship that i have in my world, usually we are connected by sex, you meet up with someone, you have sex then if you like each other kayo na, then the getting to know process start...but this one is different
Bakit naman to different? eh kasi bago xa sa gantong pag ibig, iba ang love na kinamulatan nya...iba sa aking mundo...pag na inlove ka sa uri ko na dyan na yung maiiba ang tingin ng tao sayo, they will talk about you and some will say some hurtful things that can shatter anyone with a strong heart.
Because of this love na parehas naman kaming walang kasalan both of us are suffering, some of my friends still cant believe what happen, some understand some still want to do something to knock him out of his head para matauhan xa...i understand my friends, i really do, i mean na shock din naman ako nung malaman ko na ako yung tao na nagugustuhan nya, i have a clue na ako ngayon its just that i ignore it kasi alam ko kung ano xa, so when he decided to let me know na gulat din ako kasi i was expecting that it was his friend na girl...
i ask him if what his feeling for me is real or baka nman natutuwa lang xa sa akin, he answered me straight and he said yes and pinadama nya talaga sa akin yun...madali siyang mahalin at masarap siya mag mahal kaya madali na hulog ang loob ko sa kanya...
pero kahapon hindi ko na kaya yung ginwa nya sa sarili nya, hindi ko maiwasan na sisihin sarili ko dahil don, kung alam ko lang na magiging ganito hindi ko na lang sana pinasin yung pag tingin nya, pero mahina ako, nakatagpo kasi ako ng tao na nag mahal sa akin kung ano ako, pinadama nya sa akin yung bagay na hindi ko na alam maramdaman...pero kung alam ko lang sana nag pigil ako

ano ba ang dapat kong gawin? hindi ko talaga alam...part of me is saying that i should stop this madness and set him free, pag nakipag hiwalay ako sa kanya, magagalit xa at pag ng yari yon makakalimutan na nya ako, tapos nun hindi na xa pag iisipan ng masama and part of me is saying...ngayon ka lang magiging masay papa kawalan mo pa? pero kung ang kapalit naman ng kasiyahan ko ay pag hihirap nya...hindi rin ako magiging masaya nun....

naloloko na ako kakaisip...hindi ko na alam...

Dont be Selfish

I really dont know how to start this entry because ill be talking about sex or making love to the person who is important to me, i have had a lot of relationship and when it comes to that field i have experience half of it, some partners are good in bed and some are just plain boring and some are selfish... Personally i treat sex as one way of expressing how you love the person so much in a sexual way, i can go all the way just to let the person know that i love him and i will do everything to satisfy his needs.

I have some partners before who made me feel special when it comes to making love they enjoy making love with me, they make me feel that im not their slave and i appreciate that.ganun naman talaga dapat siguro you should always think of your partner during the act, its not always your own satisfaction but what important is you are satisfied as well as your partner, before i encounter some partners who only think of their own happiness and after the act is done his partner is left un satisfied, tapos pag tinanong ako are you ok? kahit hindi ill say yes i am..
hmm to share you some wild experience that i encounter, i was once tied up in a chair by my partner and he covered  my thingy with chocolate, it was a nice experience, it has this weird feeling and when we kiss i love the taste of chocolate lingering on his lips, another thing that he does to me is to make love in a place where in we will sweat a lot, that one is really nice, our body is so wet and the feeling of it on his body give me this high feeling...para akong na sa cloud 9 that time...it was really passionate parang yung love scene sa titanic sa may car....waaa...i Once have a lover who is straight before and he fall in love with me, at first i was kinda worried kasi im sure that making love to a guy is new to him, pero xempre i give him so time to adjust, he is really good and wild iba talga pag straight yung bf mo they really know how to satisfy a a girl in a mans body ahaha, one thing that i appreciate is that he is willing to do anything...and i mean anything...

My point in sharing this is not to bluff about my experience and how good my partner is, my point here is that you should make sure that when making love its not always you who is satisfied you should also know how to satisfy your partner, HINDI NA NYA DAPAT PANG SABIHIN YUN you your self should know that...