Vulnerable when drunk

Umuwi ako na lasing kaninang umaga and pag dating ko natulog agad ako, i had a lot of things on my mind so itinulog ko nalng, i thought that pag gising ko somehow makaka limutan ko na na pero up until now all of the thoughts are swimming in my head.

I am really concern about my friend Ethel, its her birthday today actually and this morning i saw her too drunk to handle her self (kinda remind me of my self just last week ^__^) first part of her birthday celebration is fun, there was a lot of singing a lot of dancing and xempre a lot of alcohol, xempre pag my alak you'll expect that somehow things will go crazy at the end ( i know that for a fact! ^__^). I saw how vulnerable she is and kanina she had the chance to let it out...all of the feelings na itinatago nya, i felt her sadness, the hurt that she's keeping inside, alam ko i have something to do with that pain so habang maagapa (habang hindi pa crazy ang lahat) umalis na kami, hindi ko rin kaya na makita xa na lango sa alak...kaibigan ko xa and if only...if only i can turn back time hindi ko na hahayaan na mangyari to...In my part kasi parang sometimes there is no point in being happy if you know that someone is being hurt...
I am also concern about Jm, i know na he just want things to go back to normal, pero kailangan din nya maiintindihan na matagal pang panahon bago mangyari yun, may mag babago talaga and he need to be strong to face those changes...medyo lasing din xa kanina and during the time na Ethel is expressing her feelings he heard that Ethel want to punch him, buti nalang nasa kabilang room xa so wala xa masyado nagawa, pero nung kami nalang sa cr pinag susuntok nya yung wall...alam ko naman na wala xang kasalanan sa lahat ng ito, hindi nya gustong saktan yung kaibigan nya, at hindi rin nya sinasadya na mag ka feelings sa iba. so nung nakausap ko na xa ng maayos iniuwi ko na xa para wala ng rin masyadong scene na mang yari...nung kami nalang sa fx hindi ko makayang makita na nasasaktan xa ng ganoon, yung kamay nya na mamaga sa sobrang pag suntok sa wall and all i can do that time is to hug him and show him na kahit anung mangyari i will never leave his side, iniuwi ko xa sa bahay nila to make sure na he wont do anything stupid and i ask him not to so i hope na ginawa na man nya.

I dont know what to do anymore, i still hope that i can turn back time to fix all this, pero xempre it will never happen, i need to face this...we need to face this...i dont want to run anymore and just leave all this katulad nung ginawa ko before nung ako pa ang nasa kalagayan ni jm, i resign as a teacher para lang umiwas sa kaibigan kong babae na nag ka feelings for me...pero in a way nahilom na yon kasi may boyfriend na siya and when we see each other casual nalang, im sure ganun na lang din mang yayari sa kanila, ako ng hihinayang sa friendship na binuo nila, because of love they need to face all this...

I know one day you'll read this, JM i want you to know that you are the best thing na duamting sa buhay ko, i love you soo much and thank you for fighting for me and for your feelings kahit na nag kaganito ang sitwasyon, wala kang kasalan kayo ni Ethel nag mahal lang kayo...but i want you to understand that no matter how you want things to go back to normal and act as if nothing happen hindi na mang yayari yon...give her time...