Monday, April 28, 2008

Are you infatuated?

keep this in mind : being drawn to some -body doesn't necessarily mean that you should commit to that special person. That's where many people make the mistake between love and infatuation.

Just what exactly is infataution? Some years ago, the British rocker Rod Stewart popularized a song called Infatuation. The lyrics went," oh no, not again it hurts so good, i can't understand...". Don't you have that same I-so-called " love at first sight"?

Infatuation is actually imitation love;you feel something about someone but you dwell on the feelings and not the reality about him or her.

When you are infatuated with somebody, you idealize the person -and overlook the negative qualities. That's the danger of infatuation.

source:bloodymary26

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

and now I have two

cont...

I went to my partners house this morning coz he wanted to talk, he wanted me to hear his paranoia on our relationship and my relationship to some of my friends…he talks about issues like trust and honesty (which I'm not doing with him) we have this common friend name rommel which i met here on the site like 2yrs ago, rommel and i wer good friends, he is my confidant, my adviser and a friend, yes i admit that we had sex but that was before i met my partner, who happen to be Rommel's QA and floor walker...my partner is intimidated with rommel coz first he is good looking second is he is my friend and third something happen between the two of us...i told my partner that the last time i text him is last feb but he does not believe me (w/c as far as I'm concern is true), he text me recently to ask how am i doing and thats it, jeez rommel have a bf who he love so he would not ask me to do something stupid, but since my partner is paranoid he don't believe me, its a big deal for him that i text him, w/c i ask him why are you angry? he is my friend and i met him first before you so i have the right to text him anytime i want

while we are talking I kinda notice that my partner want to know everything about me, even my personal life here in the ofc, at first it was ok that he ask for my friend no. that was before when I view it as if there is an emergency he can let me know that something happen, but while were talking it seems to me that he has an intention of spying on what I'm doing, but his plan did not work because sharen is not answering his text or call, maybe bec she know thats it not her business so she just ignore the text...

In the end my partner beg for forgiveness w/c for some reason I'm tired of hearing since he did that like 5x already every time his paranoia attack him, I told him that what were fighting sometimes can be very stupid, and he admit that most of our fights is his fault...instead of us enjoying our moments together we would fight first then do some make up sex, that is our routine most of the time...

while I'm having problems with my partner, I'm having fun with my boo (my 2nd partner) what I have with him is really different from what I have from my partner, he willing to compromise on thing, he is not paranoid and the moment we see each other we are inseparable, we become we last april 19, and we had our official date last april 20 (while my partner is in pangasinan and I'm not texting him for like 2 days coz he piss me off). well all i can say that it was the best date ever. with all the partners that i have he is the ONLY ONE WHO HOLDS MY HANDS IN PUBLIC WITH HEAD UP HIGH and i was the one who is shy coz ppol are looking at us like a walking sinners ^_^ (and they are all saying burn that fagot). he told me that why would he be shy when the one he is holding is the one he love (OMG KILIG!!!)

as my friend ryan say "he is more guy looking than your partner" and geez I've been dreaming of having a korean bf and guess what he is half korean…

I know that I'm happy with my boo right now but of course I have my fears like is he really into me? You know the typical fears that you have when your in a relationship, but what I do is instead of me worrying stuff that don’t need to be worried I enjoy my time with my boo...

with all this I'm thinking of breaking up with my partner but I want to make sure that my boo will love me the way my partner would love me…I'm playing it safe…I don’t want to be a lone…I know that would be alone in the end of my story but for now I think I can handle two relationship .

cont...

Saturday, April 19, 2008

playing with fire...


since I deleted my partner in my friendslist, it has been a big deal with him, he ask me to have breakfast at his place so we can talk it out, so as expected he is mad, so what I did is to explain my side in a malambing way, I told him that I left my friendster open on the ofc and someone play with it and deleted some of my friends, and he is included. as expected he did not believe my lies, he insist that i did that bec im hiding sumthing(w/c true), he said that of all people why him? is there someone who's making us fight? but the bottom line is he does not trust me.

he knows that there are some people who have a thing for me in the ofc, he also know that my ex is my ofc mate and that bothers him coz we see each other everyday…even before I did my dirty act he would suspect that im fooling around,(he even calls me at home to check to my mom if i really went home...he have lots of fears when it comes to relationship...

after the breakfast I thought that everything is ok. so during my shift we are texting and he told me that I havent invited him on friendster, I told him that I would do it at home sine I don’t want to use my acces here in the ofc coz that is the reason why my accnt has been played, but he keeps on pushing me, so i get mad and told him my reason but he still insisting, so i told him that he is paranoid and he dont trust me (which is ryt) so i told him i dont want to text him and will just fix it when he get home...

till then i havent text him, im really guilty coz im playing with two people with emotion and if im in their situation i would really freak out...

cont...

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

I give in to my temptaion and now im a liar and a bad person

during my desperate days of having a relationship I've look on so many different places to find the one that I love, and now that I have found him, the other side of the story comes in, fighting temptation…I've always question life why is it that when your in a relationship, temptation is all over the place and when your alone looking for one you cant find someone...

I must admit that even I'm in a relationship I'm still entertaining other guys, my coach have a friend and his name is paula, when paula went to visit the ofc he is with a friend and his name is Angelo, I find him really cute, so I talk to him but I never had the chance to get his no. so i told my coach that paula's friend is really cute and i was wondering if he knows his no, to make the story short i already have Angelo's no and we see each other 3 times already, he is really cute not to mention single, so i decide to go on and just embrace the temptation, on the 3rd time that we see each other we decided to get it on...

I'm bad coz im lying on my partner and im lying to Angelo, I told him that im still single, but the way I see it Angelo is also hiding sumthing from me…besides he is too young for me, all he do is go bar hopping and he don’t have any plan on what to do in his life, he quit school to work and having some second thought on going back to school...so he is not a partner material...more of a fuckbuddy thing

so you think that it all stop there, your wrong, since I decided to embrace temptation and just continue being a two timer, there is this one guy who im texting ryt now, I met him in g4m he greeted me there and he happen to find my friendster accnt, yesterday i approve his request to be my friend and he is please on what he saw in my accnt, and now we are planning our meeting...

the thing is he put a comment on my friendster and it sez "my sexy boo" and he put other stuff like "I see the world through your eyes" and I freak out, coz my bf is one of my friend and he check my friendster on a daily basis, so I don’t know that to do i freak out so i deleted my partners name on my friends list...and just this after noon he called and he is asking why he cant access my accnt, and i lie saying i dont know...

I know that what im doing ryt now is wrong and I know that time comes all of these things will come back to me, but the problem is I still do it

its not that I don’t love my partner, I do love him, he is caring, kind and loving everything that you can ask for for a partner, Angelo and Shin are just friends who have needs, I don’t my see my self committing to those two bec they are young, they dont even have plans on what to do in their lives, all they care for is that they go to party, drink, spend money and thats it...so in the end i will still go to my partner coz i know that he is good for me...

geez I cant believe I just wrote this, now everyone of you will think that im a two timer shit who is lying to his partner...and probably happy coz im not your partner

I give in to my temptation and what ever the result is im willing to accept it…I know in the end I will be alone…

Monday, April 7, 2008

Everything is ok

after all the drama in the ofc, now everything is back to normal, things are not the same as it was b4 but sumhow there is no burden to go to work...
it just sadden me coz with kc, i never had the chance to explain my self, ryt now she's been having a hard time with all the accusation of fraud and absenteeism, even russel and rose don't know what's happening to that girl, rose said that kc having a bf make things worst...she did not go to work from tue to fri, i guess her suspension has already been given to her...

after our team bldg in zambales and knowing that my lovely coach had a plan on leaving us bec b4 he him self is also de motivated with all the drama in our team,but he desided to stay, we all agreed to have a new start on everything, no more drama...

after that i had a great start, my conversion are all good and I'm the top seller for the week in our team, b4 its ok if i have two sales in a day but now i have to prove that i can be good...esp now that our account will be growing