Saturday, December 29, 2007
***fighting Temptation****
im still fighting the urge to look at my ex friendster accnt, I don’t want to look at it because I know that it will affect me and I don’t want that to happen, I mean he is totally out of my world, its just that my friend kc visit her ex friendster and it totally get her, i ask her why she visit it and she just say "im like that though i know it will hurt me...but i still do it"...and now im fighting my own demon...huwaaaa
Thursday, December 20, 2007
what i always say is.
1.you are allowed to have a moment of weakness
2.move on lang ng move on this too shall pass…
3.I know its hard but do your best to fight it and don’t let it affect you. You just have to live each day dealing with your everyday demons…
4.keep your self busy and focus on what your doing
5.not all nice people are nice, some of them do that just to get what they want, don’t give out secrets on people, you'll never know who will stab you in the back
6.the one you love today can be your worst enemy tomorrow…well not all of them but im sure one will emerge
7.no matter how you fool your self on forgetting someone, in the end you will still wish that both of you are still together…
8.smile though your heart is breaking, smile even though its aching
9.set your goals and do your very best to achieve it…its hard but you have too!
10.if you have nothing to say, then just be quite
11.love can turn to hatered and it can eat you and also will make you stupid if you let that happen…
12.I know how to get what I want and I can make it happen
13.do be sweet don’t be a slut
14.try not to live a life full of regret…dare your self to do the impossible…so you will have no what if or could have…beside they don’t know you…
15.some people are very hard to deal with, but you have to give them a chance…
16.have a positive out look in life and everything will follow
17.chaleges makes you strong, so don’t be a quiter, instead learn how to solve it and learn from it
18.always get enough sleep..its hard to work when your always sleepy
19.learn to have self control…
20.your first true love is really hard to forget and to let go, that even though you're separated for the longest time, you're still hoping that someday destiny will give you second chance…
2.move on lang ng move on this too shall pass…
3.I know its hard but do your best to fight it and don’t let it affect you. You just have to live each day dealing with your everyday demons…
4.keep your self busy and focus on what your doing
5.not all nice people are nice, some of them do that just to get what they want, don’t give out secrets on people, you'll never know who will stab you in the back
6.the one you love today can be your worst enemy tomorrow…well not all of them but im sure one will emerge
7.no matter how you fool your self on forgetting someone, in the end you will still wish that both of you are still together…
8.smile though your heart is breaking, smile even though its aching
9.set your goals and do your very best to achieve it…its hard but you have too!
10.if you have nothing to say, then just be quite
11.love can turn to hatered and it can eat you and also will make you stupid if you let that happen…
12.I know how to get what I want and I can make it happen
13.do be sweet don’t be a slut
14.try not to live a life full of regret…dare your self to do the impossible…so you will have no what if or could have…beside they don’t know you…
15.some people are very hard to deal with, but you have to give them a chance…
16.have a positive out look in life and everything will follow
17.chaleges makes you strong, so don’t be a quiter, instead learn how to solve it and learn from it
18.always get enough sleep..its hard to work when your always sleepy
19.learn to have self control…
20.your first true love is really hard to forget and to let go, that even though you're separated for the longest time, you're still hoping that someday destiny will give you second chance…
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Christmas Party
our christmas party…umm I can say that it is fun, really exciting and full of surprises…the event is really something... you'll see many good looking guys and beautiful girls, most of them is at their best and some of them did not make any effort…
on that xmas party, well it made me realize that it is lonely to be single, and god knows how sad I was that night, have this ofc mate before his name is jr at first no one knows that he is gay but suddenly rumor starts to spread and my friend raqs confirm to me that it was true, someone saw him in the sleeping quartes kissing a guy. so anyway he is there together with his bf, his bf look nice, they have the same hieght or the guy is a little taller than jr, in general his bf looks good and they kinda look like the same they are very sweet with each other and it kills me,not to mention raqs and anneli, phoebe and john, they all have partners and how i wish that i also have my man beside me...i become bitter that night that even my friend cyndy keep on saying to me that it will come...i mean im not that bad looking the only flaws is that im skinny but im doing something about it. its like 4mo's now that i dont have a bf, and with my sched its hard to find someone or even go on dates, i met guys on line and then will plan on seing each other and then i will cancel it due to some reason. i was kinda hoping that my future bf will be at the same co or accnt so we have time to see each other in the ofc, like raqs and annelli.
that night I also witness the other side of love, my friend maya the ex of raqs who is I guess currently dating gail have some issues to deal with, after the xmas party we decided to go to malate for some bar hopping action, when were about to go, I saw maya ride a taxi and she told gail that she will not come, i saw how hurt gail is while watching maya leave, she just stay quite the whole time in the taxi...so when were on the bar, i saw maya, turns out that she really did not go home, she just put on a show, and while on the bar instead of her and gail having fun maya is saying sorry to gail who at that time i think is no longer in the mood to talk, maybe maya acted like that bec raq is happily njoying annelis company,and annelli is really sweet to raq i mean she's around her all the time, may be she cant stand the view, maybe she cant take the fact the her ex is now so happy with someone...
so its really a mix emotion for me at that time, im lonely coz im still single and im sad coz in love there is always a drama, but you have the choice…if you decide that your relationship will be happy you can do so but you can also decide to be a drama queen and just be an ass to your partner...so i promise my self not to put drama if ever i found someone, i want happy moments...i want sweet moments..i want love...
on that xmas party, well it made me realize that it is lonely to be single, and god knows how sad I was that night, have this ofc mate before his name is jr at first no one knows that he is gay but suddenly rumor starts to spread and my friend raqs confirm to me that it was true, someone saw him in the sleeping quartes kissing a guy. so anyway he is there together with his bf, his bf look nice, they have the same hieght or the guy is a little taller than jr, in general his bf looks good and they kinda look like the same they are very sweet with each other and it kills me,not to mention raqs and anneli, phoebe and john, they all have partners and how i wish that i also have my man beside me...i become bitter that night that even my friend cyndy keep on saying to me that it will come...i mean im not that bad looking the only flaws is that im skinny but im doing something about it. its like 4mo's now that i dont have a bf, and with my sched its hard to find someone or even go on dates, i met guys on line and then will plan on seing each other and then i will cancel it due to some reason. i was kinda hoping that my future bf will be at the same co or accnt so we have time to see each other in the ofc, like raqs and annelli.
that night I also witness the other side of love, my friend maya the ex of raqs who is I guess currently dating gail have some issues to deal with, after the xmas party we decided to go to malate for some bar hopping action, when were about to go, I saw maya ride a taxi and she told gail that she will not come, i saw how hurt gail is while watching maya leave, she just stay quite the whole time in the taxi...so when were on the bar, i saw maya, turns out that she really did not go home, she just put on a show, and while on the bar instead of her and gail having fun maya is saying sorry to gail who at that time i think is no longer in the mood to talk, maybe maya acted like that bec raq is happily njoying annelis company,and annelli is really sweet to raq i mean she's around her all the time, may be she cant stand the view, maybe she cant take the fact the her ex is now so happy with someone...
so its really a mix emotion for me at that time, im lonely coz im still single and im sad coz in love there is always a drama, but you have the choice…if you decide that your relationship will be happy you can do so but you can also decide to be a drama queen and just be an ass to your partner...so i promise my self not to put drama if ever i found someone, i want happy moments...i want sweet moments..i want love...
Friday, December 14, 2007
Self Improvement
I used to think that having a good body can be achieve for only a week, I thought that it was that simple, but Im wrong, you have to be dedicated in working out, its like a job that you have to work hard to get the position that you desire and it takes a lot of perseverance and patience.its funny coz i thought that few days im the gym and ill look like mark nelson or channing tatum jeje, i admire them because they really work hard to get that kind of body... i started working out just this month and i can see some improvement in my arms and chest. and i promise my self that no matter how hard it is ill stick with it to get the body that i desire and ofcourse my main goal is to have a healthy body and mind not just the appearance, im tired of being skiny and having unhealthy life style and having guys ignore me and i hate to be the second choice just because im skinny , i quit smoking since the day i started and the last time i tried to smoke i feel dizzy, so i sware not to smoke not unless im so stress, and beside since im working at night somehow i need to have some exercise.and beside i need some change in my life stlye also because basically my routine is going to work and after that sleep, and i do that 5 days a week...boring huh!
with regards here in the ofc im happy coz my first coach is now part of the accnt and next week will be devided into two groups, and that is a good news for me since I don’t have to be stuck with my current coach who I dislike not because of some issues that i have with her also i cant stand to see her face coz it weird, i hate it and as i say i cant stand it!
just read my last post for the details...
with regards here in the ofc im happy coz my first coach is now part of the accnt and next week will be devided into two groups, and that is a good news for me since I don’t have to be stuck with my current coach who I dislike not because of some issues that i have with her also i cant stand to see her face coz it weird, i hate it and as i say i cant stand it!
just read my last post for the details...
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
i wanna say f*@ksheet
I always have a say on something…and im gonna do that again, last nov 3 I air how I hate my coach and now im gonna air how I dislike my new coach. but first of all let me start by saying that this is really my day, I mean really my day... my bad day, first I did not get enought sleep i woke up to pee and after that its hell going back to sleep, and when im finally falling asleep im about to prepare to go to work, second the fx driver who droves me here really sucks he drives fast like the one in "the fast in and the furious" and he stop at every human being in the street assuming that they are all passenger, not only that he almost get us kill we almost bump into this jeepney and guess what he is the one ho is angry though its his fault what a jerk!!! of all the hell that he brings the worst part is him having bad breath a cough and a super dry skin i am so gross out when he accidentally shove his arm on my arm when he is giving change to my seat mate...how gross is that? and third is this passenger that he pick up, who is fat and smells like shit, at that moment all i can say to my self is im surrounded by people who dont value sanity im not being maarte, im just being true.
Now let me start by saying how I dislike my new coach, I like her as a person but not as a leader, she is nice to be with and she really knows what to do so that you can improve your work, she has her own way of motivating people and she help a lot them to be on were they are right now, and i think because of this acomplishment she develop this kind of attitude, this thing that i call "kakaibang asta" and sometimes she is hard to approach coz when you are about to ask her she has this weird look that is hard to interpret, you dont know if she will help you or she is thinking here he goes again asking me question that she also dont know or geez what is wrong with him or why him i hate him...that kind of feeling...i remember asking her this one question she did bother to help me but she left me because on of her favorite agent ask her a question so she just left me=), good thing i found the answer by my self and she did not even bother to ask if i got the answer.
and yes she is a big fan of favoritism, I mean it’s a given fact, anywhere in the world there Is favoritism and i don’t care if im the apple of the eye or not just as long as it will not get in the way of your success but that is what im seing right now, she has this old team that she adore and she show it to us, yes i know that they have this thing as a group but you know, and she has this sarcasting way of saying things, not only that she also put you on the spot, i mean she could atleast talk to us one by one not like that...i wish you know and understand what im going through right now, its hard that your in group that you hate...
im sorry if I say things about you, its just that im trying so hard to atleast understand you but your making it hard for me…
im so stress right now talking to these old ppol…
Now let me start by saying how I dislike my new coach, I like her as a person but not as a leader, she is nice to be with and she really knows what to do so that you can improve your work, she has her own way of motivating people and she help a lot them to be on were they are right now, and i think because of this acomplishment she develop this kind of attitude, this thing that i call "kakaibang asta" and sometimes she is hard to approach coz when you are about to ask her she has this weird look that is hard to interpret, you dont know if she will help you or she is thinking here he goes again asking me question that she also dont know or geez what is wrong with him or why him i hate him...that kind of feeling...i remember asking her this one question she did bother to help me but she left me because on of her favorite agent ask her a question so she just left me=), good thing i found the answer by my self and she did not even bother to ask if i got the answer.
and yes she is a big fan of favoritism, I mean it’s a given fact, anywhere in the world there Is favoritism and i don’t care if im the apple of the eye or not just as long as it will not get in the way of your success but that is what im seing right now, she has this old team that she adore and she show it to us, yes i know that they have this thing as a group but you know, and she has this sarcasting way of saying things, not only that she also put you on the spot, i mean she could atleast talk to us one by one not like that...i wish you know and understand what im going through right now, its hard that your in group that you hate...
im sorry if I say things about you, its just that im trying so hard to atleast understand you but your making it hard for me…
im so stress right now talking to these old ppol…
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
...partner issues...
its always been like this, I have a lots of girl friends and im close to all of them, but everytime they find their love ones, its always hard for them to find time to be with me or we are in the same place but they are always doing stuff with their partner.that is why I would rather have a friend who already have a partner rather than having a single friend and then when they find their partner they will have no time for me and leave me behind... i mean i understand, the first few months you would really want to be with your partner i mean i've been there but i never forget my friends, coz i believe my partner may leave me at any moment for some stupid reason, but my true friends will always be there to be with me...i have this saying that i always believe in everytime a friend of mine leaves me or find someone new to hang out with i always tell my self that..."they might find someone new but they will always come back" and its true...
anyway its just me pitying my self coz im single and the only thing that I have are my friends, but they are taken away from me by their love one's…
and you know what the thing is, in call center you meet lots of good friends, but you can never be with them for the longest time, some of them will leave, some of them will be terminated or suspended and will not come back or I my self will leave the company...and the only soure of comunication is friendster and YM, but that's life we have to move on no matter what the case is...
anyway its just me pitying my self coz im single and the only thing that I have are my friends, but they are taken away from me by their love one's…
and you know what the thing is, in call center you meet lots of good friends, but you can never be with them for the longest time, some of them will leave, some of them will be terminated or suspended and will not come back or I my self will leave the company...and the only soure of comunication is friendster and YM, but that's life we have to move on no matter what the case is...
Saturday, December 8, 2007
...Last Christmas i Gave you my heart...(la lang)
Our christmas celebration, well it’s the same as last year and the other year, its super simple, only the three of us, very solemn and then after that we just watch movies and then we all decided to sleep, not me I stay up late till 3am I watch grace anatomy and heroes on the net and chat to some of my close friends and putting greetings on their friendster accnt...
Christmas morning some of my inaanak went to greet me and to get their blessings, I was so amaze how big they are, the last time I saw them most of them are babies…it was fun, I also give my mom and dad money as my gift, I would rather give them money rather than buying them something that they will not appriciate, i know my mom, when she hates it she really mean it...this morning im so amaze how my dad acted like a child, the money that i gave him he decided to buy dvd player he's very happy with it, i mean i can see his excitement while opening the box of that dvd, he open it like 15 sec, he is that xcited haha...and my mom deside to keep the money for future use.
as for me well I have no choice but to go to work, I can't do anything because I sign a commitment letter, well at first I really want to go home, I kinda hate coz I thought that raqs will not show up it turns out that we have a diff shift. At the first few hours of the shift its really nerv racking, i dont know what to say to the customer and that really frustrate me, you know that feeling that you feel really stupid in front of a million people and you just dont know what to do, thank god that the coaches from xm are nice cute and friendly, later part of the shift well i get the hang of it, if i dont know what to do i just transfer the call and problem solve hehe, i met someone his name is jeff, i know his bi its just that we never had the chance to really know each other coz we are working...jeje but i know ill see him again...i just know...
Christmas morning some of my inaanak went to greet me and to get their blessings, I was so amaze how big they are, the last time I saw them most of them are babies…it was fun, I also give my mom and dad money as my gift, I would rather give them money rather than buying them something that they will not appriciate, i know my mom, when she hates it she really mean it...this morning im so amaze how my dad acted like a child, the money that i gave him he decided to buy dvd player he's very happy with it, i mean i can see his excitement while opening the box of that dvd, he open it like 15 sec, he is that xcited haha...and my mom deside to keep the money for future use.
as for me well I have no choice but to go to work, I can't do anything because I sign a commitment letter, well at first I really want to go home, I kinda hate coz I thought that raqs will not show up it turns out that we have a diff shift. At the first few hours of the shift its really nerv racking, i dont know what to say to the customer and that really frustrate me, you know that feeling that you feel really stupid in front of a million people and you just dont know what to do, thank god that the coaches from xm are nice cute and friendly, later part of the shift well i get the hang of it, if i dont know what to do i just transfer the call and problem solve hehe, i met someone his name is jeff, i know his bi its just that we never had the chance to really know each other coz we are working...jeje but i know ill see him again...i just know...
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